y’all are like “ooh everyone is beautiful” “ooh everyone deserves to feel hot” and then three seconds later you’re making fun of people who cover their acne with makeup and people who haven’t mastered winged eyeliner yet like grow the hell up you don’t get to pick and choose times to be body positive
*black couple living in a haunted house*
wife: the house haunted
husband: we out this bitch
If the point of the Big Bang Theory was to show that male nerds can be just as sexist as male jocks then well done I guess
eating really nasty food at someones house
did you ever realize that you could just get up right now and start walking somewhere far far away and never come home again
in sickness and in health, season premieres and finales
omg my little brother was using my computer and look at his search history
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."
Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.
Theorem: Puppys are cool